Obama Vs. The Crazy Ones, or, How An Obama Campaign Ad Has Me Thinking Twice Before Voting For Him

For those of you that have been keeping track of the GOP primary should know by now that none of the clowns trying to get a nomination to represent the Republican party should be voted as President of the United States of America.

You can complain about Obama all you want, but if you don't know about about the so-called candidates ready to run against him, then here is a brief rundown on The Crazy Ones, the ones who don't see things differently.

Mitt Romney, Mr. I-decided-to-turn-into-a-true-conservative-after-I-saw-how-well-it-went-with-Santorum, still uses his coined phrase "self-deportation" in debates. I don't think he realizes how he will explain that oxymoron to the 11.2 million illegal immigrants in the US.

"Self-Deportation!"

Rick Santorum, father of three daughters and four sons, says that women shouldn't serve in the Army. Yet, I highly doubt he would let his sons serve in the Army. He also says that he has no problems with homosexuals, just homosexual acts. If this is his way of being funny, then he is the funniest guy in the room...room full of baffled people.

"You get it? I still have a problem with Gays!"

Newt Gingrich. Where to begin with this guy. Well, he's been married three times....Freddie Mac payed him $1.5 million dollars to lobby legislators to support them, then, just last year, Gingrich argued to get rid of Freddie Mac. So this guy takes their money and then wants to wave them goodbye as taxpayers are stuck paying the $154 billion dollars it cost the government to bail them out. He also wants to create the first moon colony by 2020 (he's already predicting a two-term presidency, by the way) that would allow mining moon minerals like Helium 3 (used as fuel for nuclear fusion) and in the process making the US a shitload of money. The problem? The Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which states:

The exploration and use of outer space shall be carried out for the benefit and in the interests of all countries and shall be the province of all mankind;
Outer space shall be free for exploration and use by all States;
Outer space is not subject to national appropriation by claim of sovereignty, by means of use or occupation, or by any other means;

Sorry, Newt :(

"To Infinity and --- fuck, there's a Space Treaty.."

Ron Paul, I wonder if there is a suit out there that can fit you. No, but really, this gentleman claims that he knew nothing about his own newsletters, that circulated in the 90s, that talked about 'gunning down on '"Urban Youth". In layman terms, that means shooting the minority, but not in a metaphorical sense either, it means shooting them down with an actual gun. Then, the newsletters go on to talk about how the government created AIDS (put on your pointy tin foil hats everyone) and the real zinger is that Paul, or whoever wrote the newsletters (most likely Paul), renamed New York City: "Welfaria", "Lazyopolis" and "Rapetown"

If this whole Presidential thing doesn't work out for Paul, I see a future for him writing straight-to-DVD-films bearing the aforementioned names.

With buffoons like this trying to be President, what will happen to the U.S?

Say what you will about Obama, but at least the U.S is starting to get back on track in one way or another. Millions of jobs have been created in the past few years, unemployment has been going down (slowly but surely), Bin Laden is dead, the US troops left Iraq, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and he isn't planning on renaming New York City to "Dirtberg".

Now, Obama has my vote come November, but I will have a hard time checking that square next to his name on the ballots because of this campaign ad:



The first minute and a half of the video is fine with me, it's actually nice and inspirational fluff that will get people to vote for Obama again.

Then, it all goes down hill from there with stuff like,

Obama 'dirting' off his shoulder
Obama dancing with Ellen
Obama smacking his wife's ass
Fist bumps

By the two minute mark it changes its tone, back to the inspiring stuff....

Then it goes crashing back down like Enron stocks with crap like,

Obama listening to the Golden girls theme
Ninja President
Obama singing

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Obama singing, dancing, swatting flies as if he were Mister Mi-fucking-yagi. It shows us that our President is cool and hip, we get it. At a time, however, where he is getting excrement thrown at him from the left and right side (see what I did?), I doubt that this is the kind of message he wants to put out there.

Or did he forget about how Republicans tore him a new one for taking a vacation?