Making Cuts on my iPhone, Obama Style

I look at how much little space I have left on my iPhone and I know I need to makes some cuts. The only way to do this is by acting like President Barrack Obama; I have to make cuts to make deficit reductions.



First, I look at Audio and some cuts need to be made…..



 Sorry Lady Gaga, after that horrendous attempt at an Alter Ego at the VMA’s a couple of weeks ago, Born this Way will no longer be one of the Top 25 Most Played songs on my iTunes and in fact, I have boycotted all of your music from my iPhone.

Sorry Brandon Flowers, your solo album has been sitting in my iPhone since you released it last year and I’ve only listened to three songs on it.

Sorry David Guetta, your songs make me want to look as dumb as the Jersey Shore cast and pump my fists in the air and at times, I find myself dancing in the gym, but I am yet to understand why YOUR name appears on albums when you don’t even sing a damn song.

Sorry My Chemical Romance, I was a big fan of your previous CDs, but Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, just isn’t working out for me. You guys can Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na) your way out of my iPhone.

Sorry Nicki Minaj, I was expecting Pink Friday to be a Rap album from the same chick that said that if she had a dick she will pull it out and piss on them.

Sorry Green Day, my sister is right, there is nothing interesting in seeing forty year dudes wearing eye-liner and dressing in tight nut-huggers. I will keep you Dookie CD though.

Sorry Beyonce, your baby bump was fake.

Sorry Bad Meets Evil, the Jay-Z & Kanye CD came out….

Sorry Lil’ Wayne, I’m yet to understand anything about you.

Sorry Glee Cast, wait, how’d that get in there?...


Photos, you can stay, heck, even my finger painting

 

Apps, oh, Apps



Sorry Angry Birds, I can destroy an entire environment with two birds and I still get a one-star rating.

Sorry Doodle Jump, I will never be able to top off the 10,638,423 high score ……. Why keep trying?

Sorry Shakespeare app, I will not ask ‘to be or not to be’, because your stuff doesn’t age well.

Sorry Ocarina, the guy playing his real instrument at the party attracts more people.

Sorry BaldBooth, the future is scary….

Sorry Flickr, I get more likes on Instagram.

Sorry iMuscle, your 3D workouts gave me nightmares.

Sorry DropBox, your new terms and conditions suck.

Sorry The Wall Street Journal, I can’t afford your subscription fee.

Sorry SketchBook Mobile, my drawings look nothing like the ones on your webpage.

Sorry every single Kairosoft game, your games have consumed millions of hours of my life. I'm reformed now.


Books



Sorry Brett Easton Ellis, Imperial Bedrooms proves that you’ve lost your marbles.

Sorry Steig Larsson, your Millennium trilogy made me lose months of my life that I will never get back. Looking forward to the movie though.

Sorry free BookByte Digital ebooks, I only downloaded you for your cool, hand drawn covers, sorry.

Sorry Winnie-the-Poo-copy-that-came-with-iBooks, my iPhone is jailbroken and you won’t open.

Sorry George R.R Martin, I wish your Samples would last longer.


Other



Now how do I find this out….

This is What Happens When Robin Slaps Batman

I finished reading Batman: The Cult, a graphic novel that has the caped crusader kidnapped by a Cult (duh!) of creeps that worship some crazy priest guy who looks like John Smith from Pocahontas and is on more steroids than Batman himself.

The Cult is one of the best Batman graphic novels I have read and it is one of the most underrated ones. Sure, The Dark Knight Returns, Year One, The Long Halloween and The Killing Joke are among the best Batman graphic novels ever, but it amazes me that The Cult is not on that list.

Even though The Cult has a creepy and serious storyline, there was one funny panel:



That’s what happens when Robin tries to be a tough guy. His insignificant hand couldn’t deal with the blow.  It’s no wonder he got his brains bashed in Death in the Family.

Serves you right, buddy, serves you right.

Typo: Hot Dogs

If I didn't see an actual hot dog next to the word Hot Dots, I would've never known what the hell it was.



HOT DOTS!

Steve Jobs

To anyone who has read the Batman graphic novel Knightfall, will know about Bane breaking Bruce Wayne's back and leaving him as a paraplegic, which leads him to hand over the Batman costume over to some schlep named Jean-Paul Valley. No one can replace Bruce Wayne. That's sort of how I feel about Steve Jobs handing the throne over to Tim Cook. I'm sure Tim Cook will hold up as the new CEO of Apple (he's done it several times since 2009), but he can't replace Steve Jobs. No one can.

I'm not going to lie, but I was pretty bummed out about it because I look at Steve Jobs as one of the few people who have actually changed our world. Love him or hate him, the man is responsible for redesigning the PC or phone you are viewing this posting from right now. He changed the way we use technology and how it has become a part of our life. In case you don't know what the man is responsible for, check out the 313 patents to his name. Steve Jobs is hands down the greatest CEO and businessman of all-time and one of the greatest inventors as well.
Despite him resigning as CEO from Apple, that's not to say that things will change. After all it's not like he retired for good; his involvement in Apple is still a big one as Chairman of the Board and they will still dish out the best products in the world. According to the Wall Street Journal:

People familiar with the situation have said that Mr. Jobs continues to be active at Apple and is closely involved in the company's product strategy. Apple watchers don't expect that to change even after Mr. Cook takes over.

It's still not known why Steve resigned as CEO but everything points at his chronic health issues. Here is an excerpt from his resignation letter:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

Like I said, I don't think things are going to change at Apple, but it's definitely the end of an era.
I'll leave you with what I believe is one of the most important speeches ever given, by the man himself and it's changed my life in every way. I hope it has the same effect on you.

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me. - Steve Jobs

I Hope "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Movie is Better Than the Book

After hearing that David Fincher (The Social Network, Fight Club, Seven) aka Mr. I'm-yet-to-make-a-bad film was directing the US remake of The Girl in the Dragon Tattoo (there's been a Swedish version made already) and Steve Zailian (Schindler's List, Awakenings, Gangs of New York) was writing the screenplay, I decided to take a look at the book everyone was talking about.

I heard great things from everyone about Steig Larsson's Millennium Trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest) and  after reading a sample chapter for the first book, I decided to go all out and buy the trilogy.

Now, a month and a half later and two of the three books read, all I can say is that I am yet to figure out what the big deal is. Don't get me wrong, they are decent books and Larsson had the ability to make his books page-turners, even if they included obnouxious descriptions and dialogue like the ones down below.

"Blomkvist made two more espressos. He apologized when he lit a cigarette. Paolo Roberto shrugged."

or

"The refrigerator contained an open milk carton, some cheese, butter, caviar, and a half-empty jar of pickled gherkins." 

or, this brilliant piece of dialogue.

"Blomkvist, I'm on skrrritch skrrritch a van with Miriam"

The only good thing that kept me reading these books (I'm still hesitant about picking up Hornets Nest) is Lisbeth Salander. She is hands-down one of the best female characters in fiction. If you haven't read any of the books, then the only reason I would recommend them is to know how Salander's story unfolds.

After seeing the first trailer of the film released months ago, I was somewhat dissapointed that it was more like a teaser trailer, but if you have a good eye, you'll be able to recognize some of the scenes from the book.


Yesterday, Productions stills were released of Rooney Mara (The Social Network) as Lisbeth Salander and by the looks of the picture, she looks exactly how Salander is described in the book.....

.....Freaky

So far so good, I guess. I hope this reportedly $100 Million dollar production is better than the mediocre book it's based on and if it does good in the box office, expect to see the other two books turned adapted into films (I honestly don't know how they can make a movie out of The Girl who Played with Fire).

Now I'm waiting for a full trailer to come up soon.

Uncanny "Catch Me If You Can" Movie Cover

There is all sorts of wrong with this cover. First off, I can't remember any film in which DiCaprio wore an outfit like this. If I had to take a wild guess, it looks like a General's Uniform (?). Then, if you look close enough and compare his head with the rest of his body, it is clearly photoshopped. Same goes for Tom Hanks.

Now, if you look under the photoshopped gentlemen, you'll see an actual clip of Tom Hanks with his crew in the film, but what in the name of all that is mighty is going on in the background? Hummers exploding! When? Did I miss this part in the film?

Last, just take a look behind these two, it looks like a futuristic city, sort of looks like the one in Blade Runner. Also, look northeast of Tom's Head and you'll see a helicopter towing a car.

Who ever made this atrocity only got one thing right, and that's an accurate translation of the movie title.

Misspelled Words: Brownie

Definition of Brownie from Dictionary.com 

brownie

[brou-nee] 

–noun

1. a tiny, fanciful, good-natured brown elf who secretly helps atnight with household chores. (That's Hilarious!)

2. a small, chewy, cakelike cookie, usually made with chocolate and containing nuts.

So what in the name of all that is sacred is this:

BRAWNI!