This World is Going Nowhere

There are all sorts of crazy things that go on everyday that prove that the world we live in is not headed in the right direction. I'm not talking about the never ending wars throughout the world or the natural disasters that cause the deaths of thousands of people and destruction of millions of homes; I'm talking about the things people do to make everything worst.

Guilty as Charged....

How Food is leading us nowhere:

Who loves the McDonalds McRib? Yes, I love the McDonalds McRib as much as the next guy, but ever since I read on TIME Healthland that America's favorite limited-edition-sandwich contains azodicarbonamide, a flour-bleaching agent that is found in shoe soles and gym mats, I will have a hard time even looking at the damn thing.

I highly doubt that celestial hands are going to hand anyone a McRib

The worst part about it is that azodicarbonamide is a compound that Europe and Australia banned because it is a food additive and England's Health and Safety Executive says that it could contribute to asthma if one is exposed to it.

Not to mention that a McRib has 980 mg of Sodium (!) and 10g of saturated fat, which means that if you have McRib Fever and decide to stock up on as many as you can for you and your family before they disappear, there's a good chance that your kids are going to look like this:

How Books are leading us nowhere:

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, from Jersey Shore fame, could add New York Times Bestselling Author as one of the things she is known for besides being a Jersey Shore cast member.

She has already written two books, A Shore Thing and her upcoming Confessions of a Guidette.

I would rather eat a McRib that to read this.

The fact that A Shore Thing was a bestseller means that Confessions will follow that same track because if people were dumb enough to read anything from someone who is clearly not competent enough to write a book, then they will think Confessions is the next Ulysses or Gatsby for that matter...

How Campaign Ads are leading us nowhere:

Campaign Ads are boring, pseudo-inspiring, depressing and full of shit; that's how it's always been and there's no reason to change that formula.

But former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain believes that Campaign Ads are worth reinventing, which leads me to this campaign ad that will leave you baffled. 

I don't know what's creepier, this Mark Block guy mumbling about how great Herman Cain is and ending it off with a cigarette break, or Herman Cain starting at the Camera and letting out a cheesy grin.

But if you think that's weird, believe me, you're yet to know the meaning of weird. Take a look at an earlier campaign ad entitled "He Carried Yellow Flowers"


I'd rather go back to the boring, pseudo-inspiring, depressing and full of shit campaign ads than to try and find the meaning behind He Carried Yellow Flowers.


How Vanity is leading us nowhere:

For the monocle-wearing and curly mustache twitching snobs that want to add some more extravagance to their humble Almas Caviar or their Golden Tigerfish, there just happens to be a solution for that and it comes in a bottle.

And here I am giving the McRib a bum rap

The Deli Garage intends to fulfill the needs of those who want to add a coat of gold spray paint on their food. There is all sorts of food additives and flavors within the spray so you don't end up eating just a bunch of gold paint.

Seriously is this necessary?

How CliffNotes is leading us nowhere:

Yes, I'm talking about CliffNotes, that little guide we've all used one time or another to avoid reading an entire book. The purpose of reading a book is to enjoy every single aspect of it, even if there are long and draggy parts, but there's a purpose to it. You can't say that you've read One Hundred Years of Solitude only because you've read a couple of chapter synopsis from CliffNotes; it's just not the same thing.

Apparently it seems that the folks over at CliffNotes are thinking just like the people who think reading is boring. This is their solution:

Yep, CliffNotes Films the fastest way to learn. They forgot to add the laziest way to learn as well. This is just what we need in a country where 1 in 4 people do not read books..

How Movies and Music are leading us nowhere:

Need I say More?

Movies, Books and Music

Who doesn't love at least one of these things? You can't go wrong with movies, books or music. Of course not all of us share the same tastes for these things. Some will say Transformers is the greatest movie of all time and I'll just simply laugh and wish they would slip on a banana peel or something...but not really.

Some will say that books are boring and that they prefer to read Facebook statuses, and I'll say "to each his own" or "get a life"....but not really.

Some will say that Justin Bieber is the greatest when it comes to music, and I'll just put cotton swabs in my ears to prevent them from bleeding....but not really.

In the end, everyone sees and hears different from all of us and it's just a waste of time getting people to see things our way. I can't beat it into a person's head that The Godfather or Ikiru are the greatest films ever made, or that reading a book is the greatest exercise for our imagination, or that Justin Bieber isn't really music. I'd like to, but I can't.

With that being said, these are my recommendations for Movies, Books and Music for this week.

Movie

Paranormal Activity 3

I'm not that into these so-called horror films that come out nowadays, but I liked the first Paranormal Activity. It wasn't the greatest horror movie ever made, but it was entertaining and it managed to make me jump out of my seat a few times. I skipped the second Paranormal Activity because I had heard from plenty of people that it sucked.

Now, I heard good things about Paranormal Activity 3 and decided to check it out.

No, it doesn't reinvent the wheel or anything and No, the story is not good. But Yes, it will catch you off guard every time and scare the hell out of you.

The thing with PA 3 is that it's smart filmmaking. I'm not saying it's great-Scorsese-like filmmaking, I'm just saying that it's smart. It's smart in the way it sets the camera up in certain scenes; and you're anticipating for something crazy to happen, but nothing happens and instead it tortures you for a while. Then when you've got your guard down, that crazy thing you were waiting for a few minutes ago, comes on and catches you off guard.

Book

Haruki Murakami's 1Q84

I've never read any of Murakami's books before. I have a few of his books like Kafka on the Shore and the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, but I haven't gotten around to reading them.

I've chosen 1Q84 to be the first Murakami book I read.

Sure it clocks in at almost 930 pages, but so far, three chapters into it, all I can say is that it's hypnotizing...

Music

Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto 

Say what you will about Coldplay, but damn can these guys make some catchy music. I was sort of skeptical about this new album of theirs Mylo Xyloto, because I don't know what it means nor do I know how to pronounce it.

Regardless of it's odd title, Mylo Xyloto is an incredible album. From the album's first song, Hurts Like Heaven -- the only Coldplay song that you can actually dance to -- to the surreal Princess of China, which features Rihanna, the entire album will be on repeat for months to come.

Oh Herman Cain, You Odd, Odd Man

For those of you that don't follow U.S politics or for those of you who don't give a damn, then you might not know who Herman Cain is.

Who is Herman Cain? Well...I'm not going to write out the man's biography, but I'll try to be as concise as possible and say that he is a business man and former CEO of Godfather's Pizza running for President on the Republican Party side.

Image via liveleak

What makes Herman Sherman so interesting is the ideas that bubble up in that head of his.

Take this for example,

He whipped up a plan that would reform the tax code. This plan of his is called the "999 plan", which plans to replace the current tax code with 9% tax for Corporate, National and Sales Tax.

Now, for anyone who has played Sim City, doesn't this sound all too familiar?

That's right, 9% tax code is the default settings on Sim City and Herman Cain is feeling it. When media outlets asked Cain, if indeed he sought a video game for inspiration, he said that he didn't, but it sure sounds fishy though.

Okay, so he might have or might have not gotten his tax code plan from a video game, so what's so bad about this guy?

Well, he likes loves pizza!. 

Don't get me wrong, I love pizza as much as the next guy, but Herman Cain admitted to eating pizza at least six times a week! How is this man still alive?

Him liking pizza doesn't make him a bad guy, but do yourself a favor and check out this video:

The man is singing about pizza and worst of all, to the sounds of John Lennon's Imagine.

Now, a new Rasmussen poll has Mr. Pizza-Loving Herman Cain with a 43% advantage over Barrack Obama's 41% in a general election matchup.

I know we can't look into these things considering that polls will change within a year from now when the real election gets underway and we still don't know if Herman Cain will represent the Republican party.
Let's just say that that poll holds up all the way until election day and Herman Cain is named the new President of the United States; do we really need a man singing about fast food to a nation that has 33% of obese adults and 17% of obese children?

I don't think so.

RIP Steve Jobs

Image via fauxtistics. 

Rest in Peace Steve.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs

"[Y]ou can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." - Steve Jobs

Who Would Make a Perfect Ignatius J. Reilly?

Back in 2009 I came across an article (don't remember which one) that listed the funniest books ever written. Among those were Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions, Slaughterhouse-Five,  Kingsley Amis's Lucky Jim and Joseph Heller's Catch-22. Then there was A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole.

When I went to the library to pick up some of these titles, it so happened that they didn't carry any of them, except for A Confederacy of Dunces (what library doesn't carry Vonnegut?!). I was sort of dissapointed because I went there hoping to get Vonnegut's books and Catch-22 after hearing that they are the popular choices. So I just took A Confederacy of Dunces and went home.

Just by looking at the cover of the book, I didn't know what to expect: A large man dressed like a bum and a bird pecking at his ear. Still, I opened the book and began to read. 

Within a few pages I found myself laughing out loud and each page just got more and more insane. The reason for this is not so much the story (there almost isn't one), but it's the book's protagonist Ignatius J. Reilly. If you haven't read the book then I won't spoil it for you, but Ignatius is one of the funniest characters in all of literature; from the way he talks, thinks and looks.

Now, I came across this article at Moviefone, that has Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) saying:

 "I've read two books in my life, and I'd like to do 'Confederacy of Dunces' -- which will never happen"

It's true. Hollywood has been trying to make a big screen adaptation of the book since the 70's and all sorts of actors have been attached to play Ignatius; from John Candy, John Belushi, Chris Farley and most recently Will Farrell -- since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005 (where the book takes place), the studio decided to pull the plug. There was also a rumor going around that the role of Ignatius was cursed because every actor (until Farrell) that was supposed to star in it, died after taking the role (Candy, Belushi, Farley and Divine). 

Still, if the film were to get a green light, who would make a perfect Ignatius J. Reilly?

In my humble opinion, I think Danny McBride would be absolutely perfect.